fever

I desire Very Important Man with a feverish intensity.

Is it because he's cooled off, like I had earlier? Is it because I can see desire for me in his eyes? Is it that I'm ovulating?

What, what, what?

All I can think about is touching him and the sound of his voice.

And I can't pin him down right now. He's busy and distant. How can I wait A WEEK to see him?

I can't. It's a fever. It's consuming me.

His driver adores me, and maybe sees financial opportunity with me. He helps me carry my things to my car, he asked for my business card, he's so friendly. Maybe I could just bribe him to tell me things. When will VIM be home? When can I pounce?

I asked VIM point blank the other day: do you want me to back off? "I feel like I'm chasing you, and I will stop if you want me to." "I thought I was the one chasing you." "You were. But now we've switched. Do you want me to stop? Just say the word."

He never said the word.

Maybe he likes the attention, maybe he likes me (he does). Maybe he wants to be convinced we're good together.

Hell, I'm not convinced of that.

But I want him. Desperately. I want to throw all caution to the wind and just be in the moment.

When things are good with VIM, they're really really good. When he wants to be charming, he knocks my socks off. Everybody's. He's amazing. When we spoke of legal issues the other day, I couldn't wait to write up an analysis for him of the U.S. jurisprudence. It tickles my brain, in a very good way. I don't get to think legally here in this job, and I miss it. Oh, how I miss it.

Dammit all.


And if I can't pin him down tonight, I'll at least get action with the Paramour.